The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
