Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize