God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
