Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
