why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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