Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
