Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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