I'm jealous of your bromance
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
