If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
