Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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