Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
