So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
