Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
