So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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