I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
