Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
