I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize