dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
