Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
