So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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