I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
