I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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