If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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