you lied. pity sex is amazing.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
