I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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