I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize