i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
