ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
