Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize