Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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