I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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