I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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