So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
