He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dick very happy bro
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
