Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
