he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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