Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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