well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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