im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
