i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
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