Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
