she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
