So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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