tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
