I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
