how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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