I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
