i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
