Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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