Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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