Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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