i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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