Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
