I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
