we have pet lesbian snakes
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
