i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
