dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You took a bar mat shot.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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