Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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