I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize