I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sober January is a disaster.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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