Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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