one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so let's talk penis.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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