Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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