Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
